May 22, 2012
tvhangover:


AMC announced today its summer programming slate, including the highly anticipated premiere of the first part of Breaking Bad’s final season on Sun., Jul. 15 at 10/9c. The final season of the Emmy® Award-winning and critically acclaimed drama, produced by Sony Pictures Television, consists of 16 episodes, with the first eight episodes beginning July 15th and culminating with the series’ final eight episodes next summer 2013.

Breaking Bad is back in 54 days (1307 hours, 78445 minutes) which means you can easily [re]watch an episode a day — there are 46! — and still have about a week left over to hyperventilate into a plastic bag in anticipation for season five.  But really, we’re already worried about that excruciating wait between part one and part two of the final season. We’re going to need a lot of meth to help us through this.

tvhangover:

AMC announced today its summer programming slate, including the highly anticipated premiere of the first part of Breaking Bad’s final season on Sun., Jul. 15 at 10/9c. The final season of the Emmy® Award-winning and critically acclaimed drama, produced by Sony Pictures Television, consists of 16 episodes, with the first eight episodes beginning July 15th and culminating with the series’ final eight episodes next summer 2013.

Breaking Bad is back in 54 days (1307 hours, 78445 minutes) which means you can easily [re]watch an episode a day — there are 46! — and still have about a week left over to hyperventilate into a plastic bag in anticipation for season five.  But really, we’re already worried about that excruciating wait between part one and part two of the final season. We’re going to need a lot of meth to help us through this.

April 25, 2012
Mystery Border

As wet graves border

The dead

From the beautiful Living forever

Sugar matches the salty water

That takes away sadness for eternity.

Then yellow and gold petals

Of marigold flowers

Guide departed Spirits 

To the singing stars.

*Published in the Border Voices 12 (2005) poetry collection

3:29pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_11JxKJrS7U
Filed under: poetry Poetry 
April 25, 2012

kurokat asked: Sup, Noah. I, like, kinda miss you and, like, kinda like your writing, I guess.

Sup, Kat. I, like, kinda miss you too and, like, can’t wait to hang again, I guess.

But seriously, let’s hang out when you’re back!

April 19, 2012
TIMEs 100 Most Influential People

TIME magazine just recently announced it’s 2012 100 Most Influential People of the year issue. Definitely some diverse and interesting people and organizations whether widely known or under the radar that have changed our world on many facets.

Do you think they missed anyone who should have been mentioned? 

April 18, 2012
Numbers Game

The dream is an old and familiar theme to me: The final seconds of the match find me grabbing the gauntly sophomore’s leg before pinning him for the win until he squirms out and reversals me to take the match in the final seconds. I was moving in peanut butter as he slipped through my grasp. What was wrong? Was my training inadequate? Did I not cut weight right? Where was my strength?

            Mercifully I awoke, moist from the distress, but quickly forgetting the dream. Sitting on the edge of the bed, licking the inside of my mouth trying to drench my ailing cottonmouth, I look over to the lime green analog clock: 5:47. Thirteen minutes before I had to get up. Great.

            Wearing only my white basketball shorts, I stumble over to the window drowsily taking in the grey glow hugging the neighbor’s roof. The cold oak floor raises goose bumps on my sleep warm flesh as I mosey into the bathroom flipping on the lights, looking down to the red tick mark fidgeting on 151.7. Perfect. That asshole makes me drop a whole weight class this season. Jesus.

            I look back up and he’s there. I don’t panic. He’s always here waiting for me to jump off the scale and look up the day of a match. He stares back at me, eyes unmoving.

            “Come on,” he says, cocking an eyebrow and snickering. “Do it. Come on now. Now is the time. Just go ahead and do the deed.”

            I shake my head. “No! I won’t! I can’t!”

            “Oh, come now. It’ll be easy. Just think about it, is it really worth going through all that self-induced torture every week?”

            He did have a point.

***

            The hydration test occurred once a season, about three weeks into official practice. The doctors had you piss in a cup, pinched you, poked you, and watched you sweat while they took notes and adjusted their glasses analyzing the data. They’d give the notes to Coach so he can tell everyone what weight they’ll be wrestling in that year. If you were on the lighter side of things, Coach swished the number that controlled your life for the next four months in your face until you reached the smallest weight class possible. For the rest of us, it meant shedding all the water and fat until our skin stretched tight across our bodies. My number was 151.7. 

            The rest of my life followed the rhythm of the season: attending class and practice sandwiched between five-mile runs before and after. Meals were optional until the day before matches, and then they were out of the question. I’m ecstatic to have a lick of water the day of before the match.

            This week was no different from any other week with a match on Thursday and a tournament on Saturday. The day of a match was always a rush to lose those extra pounds of water. Jumping rope in the sauna, stepping on the scale every five minutes to see how much more weight I needed to sweat out. The little red ticker said I was still at 154.6, I was supposed to be 152.3 before today’s match and then 151.7 for Saturday. I felt like one of those basketball assholes had been bouncing my skull all morning, and was too fucked up to think about anything. I had to stop jumping because the rope was beginning to catch the toe of my shoes, so I ran in place, the sweatshirt sticking to my chest as the blackness seeped in. We’ve all blacked out before; it got better the more it happened.

***

“Ah, don’t be such a fucking pussy. It’ll be easy,” miming a knife thrust, “one quick poke, a teeny tiny poke and it’ll be all over. He’ll never expect it.”

            A chill runs down my spine and I look to the side. I try to block out everything he is saying; I don’t want to think about what he is suggesting or even picture it. I’m not a murderer. I’m not capable of murder. He thinks differently though.

            “Oh, look at the little boy,” teasing before suddenly turning menacing, “You know you want to do it.” My head snaps back to him, my eyes unable to leave his gaze. He follows my movements, his mouth twisting into a grin; “I can read you like a book. I can see inside your head. I know what you dream about. I dream the same thoughts you know. I know you go over it in your head, over and over again, every possible way it could play out.”

            By some magnetic pull, he lowers his voice and I lean in closer to hear his words, unable to break away.

            “I know how your mind works,” his voice more than a whisper, “I know what it does to you. Every single time you picture the moment: the look in his eyes when the light fades and the smell of iron in his blood as it trickles down the blade to the hilt and finally down your arm. Little splashes between your feet. It excites you. It makes you hard.”

***

            154.1. I spat and peeled of my shirt tasting the salt left on my lips. Yum. I squeezed out the sweat and did the same with my shorts. 153.7.

            The bell rang, but I didn’t give a shit about fourth period pre-calc. I thought I’d show up late, but just ended up not going. Mrs. Marshall ended up writing me up for two days of detention. But if I didn’t make weight for that afternoon, Coach would make me run suicides until my legs gave out, and then army crawl the rest.

            No, I decided detention would be a walk in the park.

            I fell asleep drying off in the locker room, only to be waken by sixth period freshman PE coming into change. Before I threw on some clean sweats and headed to Physics, I checked the scale: 153.2.

            When I walked into class, I felt heavy and airy at the same time. Dr. Bob Walker didn’t give me a lecture about showing up five minutes late and zoning out in class. He used to be the assistant coach for the wrestling team, and then quit when Coach started holding us to the hydration test. While everyone was working on his or her lab reports, Dr. Bob drew up a chair next to me.

            “What’s going on? How ya holding up there champ?” concern filled his voice as he patted my back.

            “One five three point two,” spitting into a Styrofoam cup. I know guys who’ve lost at least half a pound from just spitting into a cup all day. The smell was nauseating as I pushed it away from the conversation.

            “Hmph…Why are you playing down a weight class? 160 was your number last year?”

            I shrugged, looking unconcerned, “I’m not sure, and I’m too tired to even wonder why Coach set me down this year.”

            “There is a line you know, between being a father and being a coach. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.” I knew what he was getting at, but it wouldn’t work.

            “No, he’s just Coach. Not Dad, Pops, or Father.”

I looked over to the football players chugging down protein shakes. No way would they be burning off all those calories in post-season training. I knew they would kill to be this ripped, but if they really knew what it took, they’d just pussy out. I could feel my skin shrink one size smaller, struggling to slide over my muscles and veins. I had enough muscle to share, a chiseled six-pack and two rows of ribs running up my side, but there was another pound that I didn’t need. The doctor said so.

***

He raised his voice for that last statement, pronouncing each word slowly, carefully, wanting me to see each letter roll off his tongue. The words crash into my brain like a plane, breaking me from my trance. Recoiling, I’m horrified by what he is saying.

            “No!” I bleat, taking a step back as my face boils in anger. “You’re wrong! You’re sick! You don’t know a goddamn thing about me!”

            His face is red too, angry at my retaliation, his eyes glaring. “NO! You’re the wrong one! I know everything about you! I know your hopes, your dreams, and I know you want to murder your fucking father! I know you want to lick the blood from your arm as he drops to his knees! I know—“

***

            I spat again and pulled at my hair. I wondered how much it weighed, if it would help to shave my head, before Dr. Bob snapped me out of my reverie, “Don’t even think about it. You’ll regret it. Trust me.”

            The bell rang and I ditched psychology. I had a strong A, so I thought I might as well do something right today and head to the sauna. I sat in the heat and watched the seconds tick by. The room smelt of stale B.O. and old wood. I just sat there: no running, no jumping, no squats. I was glad that I was able to sit up straight and not find myself sleeping on the ground again. Well, sorta upright, it’s easier to lean against the walls.

            I didn’t hear the bell and scrambled out the door after I wiped the steam from the clock. Everything began spinning, the blood rushed to my head. I didn’t care, that was the last thing on my mind. Coach was going to kill me if I was late.

            I ran to my locker, and realized I had three minutes left. I chuckled and shook my head at my unfortunate circumstance, thankful that no one saw my freak-out. I figured I had enough time to weigh myself.

            When the little tick froze on 152.1, I smiled and thought to myself, Suck it, hydration test.

            The second bell rang.   

***

            A sudden knock cuts him off. I turn breathing heavily from the exchange, but enough to keep him in my peripheral vision, as a new voice comes through the door. “Hey buddy, you all right in there? Buddy?” My father. The handle fidgets but I lock it before he can fully bring it down.

            “Yeah,” struggling to keep the anger out of my voice, “I’m fine, just getting ready.”

            “All right, good,” he doesn’t sound fully swayed but doesn’t press the issue. “We’ve gotta get going, the tournament starts in ninety minutes. I have some honey waiting for you downstairs.”

            “Okay,” holding my breath waiting for him to leave. After three seconds, I hear his footsteps on the stairs, “I hate honey.”

            I turn back to him, unable to look into his eyes. I reach out and turn on the cold water, waiting for it to give my arms goose bumps. Cupping my hands, I lean over, splash cold water all over my face, feeling the water hang on my chin. Grabbing the side of the sink, I brace myself for the rest of the conversation. Breathe in; breathe out. Ready, begin.

            I felt my spine straightening out and let myself look back at him. He’s still standing there, like he always is, staring right back at me. We’re both frozen in the same position, unable to look away.

            I see his right side twitch and a small smile begins to form on his face. It starts as a small upturning of the lips, and quickly spreads, settling into a full-blown grin. “Better hurry up, Buddy,” he says, “Wouldn’t want to keep Coach waiting.”

            I’ve had it; it’s the final straw. I’ve put up with his bullshit, his allusion, and his irritating style long enough. I let out a cry of rage, and draw my fist back to launch a heavy punch at his frozen face. He doesn’t move, doesn’t make an effort to evade or counter the oncoming blow. A fraction of a second later, my first collides with his face.

***

            I fell asleep on the bus to the tournament along with half the other guys. The coaches enclosed us in the host school’s bathroom and weighed us in the middle of the circle where the walls couldn’t mess with the scales and everyone could see whether you hit the mark or not. One guy from the other school didn’t make it the first time. He was already stripped down to his skivvies and had to slip away to a stall so he could force the last two tenths of a pound from his body. Just what the doctor ordered. I heard a gasp, followed by a groan, and finally dribbles of something spilling into the toilet. After he flushed, he walked out wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, residue streaked across his cheek. He spat one last time into the sink before stepping onto the scale again. Point oh-four over. He didn’t get a third try.

We all stood in that room waiting until the last person weighed in. Most of us poured out as soon as the coaches cleared us, relief washing over us, but that one guy hung back. One of my teammates shoved me out the door and we started laughing, finally able to breath. As we walked down the hall, toward the gym, I heard a loud thud and an animal-like howl echoing from the bathroom. We’d all be pissed if we sucked weight for nothing too.  

               We forgot by the time we got to the bleachers that there would be tables of meatball and tuna subs, Tiger Milk bars, Power Bars, and Gatorade greeting us. Having not eaten much of anything the past two days, all I wanted to do was vacuum up everything in front of me. I knew better and forced myself to down half a Power Bar fully aware that I would gorge myself after the match.

            I was wrestling a freshman. He didn’t have the mauled up look that the rest of the vets had from being painted across the mat. He looked new, probably more bone than muscle, but I knew I could easily pin him before the second period. He was a fiery guy, that’s for sure, squirming around too much trying every move in the book. I waited till the little fucker wore himself out and developed a weird look on his face. I knew that look. It was a dick move, but I went for the single-leg takedown anyways, driving my shoulder into his side. He vomited all over the mat.

            I dropped his leg with a thud and he fell to all fours, dry heaving. While his coach and trainer ran over to help him and clean up the mess, I kneeled down and whispered something only he could hear.

            “Down the snacks after the match, not after weigh-ins.”

            He looked at me with watery eyes, but he wasn’t crying. We were all victim to it our freshman year.

***

            Only it doesn’t. I don’t feel the gratifying thump of flesh on flesh. Instead, I hear a sharp crack and pain reverberates through my hand. I draw my hand away with a hiss and watch as the mirror shatters and the shards of glass fall into the sink.

            “Nice shot buddy.” His face—my face—is still there, warped by the missing glass and spider webs of cracks remaining.

            “Fuck you,” as I turn to the door, wiping the blood from my hand.

            “HEY!” I turn my head, looking at him over my shoulder.

 “Make sure you grab the right knife. Third drawer from the left.” He winks and grins, “Go get him, killer.”

April 15, 2012
Short Story Excerpt

Sorry for the delay, some things came up over the weekend. Here is an excerpt from the current short story I’m working on titled: “Numbers Game.”

____________________________________________________________________________

           “Ah, don’t be such a fucking pussy. It’ll be easy,” miming a knife thrust, “one quick poke, a teeny tiny poke and it’ll be all over. He’ll never expect it.”

            A chill runs down my spine and I look to the side. I try to block out everything he is saying; I don’t want to think about what he is suggesting or even picture it. I’m not a murderer. I’m not capable of murder. He thinks differently though.

            “Oh, look at the little boy,” teasing before suddenly turning menacing, “You know you want to do it.” My head snaps back to him, my eyes unable to leave his gaze. He follows my movements, his mouth twisting into a grin; “I can read you like a book. I can see inside your head. I know what you dream about. I dream the same thoughts you know. I know you go over it in your head, over and over again, every possible way it could play out.”

            By some magnetic pull, he lowers his voice and I lean in closer to hear his words, unable to break away.

            “I know how your mind works,” his voice more than a whisper, “I know what it does to you. Every single time you picture the moment: the look in his eyes when the light fades and the smell of iron in his blood as it trickles down the blade to the hilt and finally down your arm. Little splashes between your feet. It excites you. It makes you hard.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Well, that is it for the preview. The entire story will be posted hopefully by late Wednesday night or Thursday afternoon.

April 12, 2012
Update

I haven’t been around in a while. Mostly busy with school, work, and friends. Finally have some good material I thought I would put up finally. More is to come soon. I have also taken the liberty to make links (above) to organize my works easier. 

Latest post comes from my ENGL: 405 Short Story class. Look below or click the “Short Stories” tab above to view it. It’s called “Eden.”

Hope to keep this updated more with what’s happening and rough drafts of material. 

Look out for the preview of the next short story slated to come out by Saturday. The rest will be posted later next week

Much love,

Noah

April 12, 2012
Eden

Denny’s Diner. 1:37AM. Friday.

“Would you like some sugar with that sir?”

“Oh God no. That’s the last thing I need-or want for that matter. Not at this time, especially not at this time. Jesus…no, I’m rambling. I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. But could you bring me another cup with sugar please? Wait…wait. No sugar. No sugar please. That’s the last thing…I’ll stop now.”

“No problem.”

The waitress slowly backed off and quickly scurried away. Her face still held that smile but he knew that she would take her time coming back. It wasn’t her fault. Then again, maybe it was. He took another glance at his coffee; black. That was all he needed right now. Usually he took it with three sugars, milk, and a pinch of remorse. Well, that was how he took it. But that is the price for getting involved in such a project, or was it a task? He hadn’t been able to tell. Then again, it didn’t matter.

 He sighed and pulled out a pack of Dunhills. A thin cloud of mische metal jumped from the lighter and he inhaled the warm embers quickly.

 He took a look around the diner. That cute waitress was nowhere to be found. Instead, he found a sea of empty black stools and groups of people seated around red plastic booths greeting him. The dusty neon lights threw a pale glow on the cute waitress who was now at the counter. His eyes turned back to her. What was she doing here? She was dressed for a night out on the town. Her amber hair trickled down her charcoal dress and her dark hazel eyes glimmered in the light. Did he really have to make such a decision? But then aga—

“Your coffee sir.”

 A jump back to reality.

“Oh…thank you.”

The waitress placed his coffee down and ran off again, taking those wonderful legs of hers with her. He wondered how old she was. Nineteen? Twenty? She couldn’t have been older than twenty. Whatever the answer was he knew she was too young. Too young to deserve what might happen. She seemed like a nice girl.

He took a sip. He wished someone could—

“—understand you’re still smoking those things huh? Those things will kill you, mind you.” The stranger’s casual tone and calm demeanor stopped the Cigarette man’s sip prematurely.

“Why are you here? I know the plan,” Cigarette Man fidgeted and shook his head once not daring to look over quite yet.

“I know you do. We have four days. Be prepared with a solution.”

“If you know, then why did you come to remind me?”

“Because…you know what it’s like to deal with, I guess you would say, inappropriate behavior,” Stranger shifted to face the man.

“If you wanted to be politically correct, I wouldn’t agree. But of all former judges, why me? What makes me so different?” Cigarette Man took a slow deep drag, a warm haze surrounding them both.

“I’m surprised you even have to ask. You have the best conviction rate, particularly involving matters pertaining to one’s life. You already had the prerequisites I desired,” a sharp smile grew on Stranger.

He turned to face Stranger. “ I’ll see you then.” Stranger was gone, “Son of a bitch.”

Lincoln Cemetery. 2:17PM. Sunday Afternoon.

The air was dense with moisture and the clouds shrouded the sky in an ominous gray. Two men dressed in black stood at the head of an evenly dug four foot rectangle looking over the grassy hills where the mist had settled into the crevices. Hours before, they had both shuffled through it; dewy knolls drifted in and out of their vision, the trees fading behind them.

“Fuck…do you have any aspirin? My head is fucking killing me!” The younger of the two asked, still nursing a mind-splitting hangover and doing an awful job at hiding it. His dirt crusted palms rubbed his dark shaded eyes.

“NO! You’ve already asked me twice! I told you not to go out with those other two. It’s trouble, especially when we have a job the next day,” the old and withered man snapped back. He had been getting annoyed working with the younger gentleman; it was always a battle to keep him around to work. What happened when things were simpler, he thought.

The hung-over man glared at the old man, digging his heels into the mud and spinning in place mumbling the inane contemplation “Always.”

“Excuse me?” Old Man turned and faced the younger man, irritation rising. His voice was far away but it settled onto the statement. A few crows fought in front of the two men.

“Come off it, old man! This isn’t the time or place. We’re at a funeral.”

“We’re always at a funeral.” A crumb from his bagel fell, and the birds rushed towards it with feathers puffed.

“True.”

“Truth is.”

Old Man couldn’t find anything more to add. Words caught in his throat. His eyes glazed over the rectangle once more. He could see her; the girl that would be placed in the ground once the procession arrived, lying there already. He imagined her sitting in her chair back home, scarves and blankets draped over her. The warm fire oozing into her bones, casting her in a soft light. Her lips moved, for seconds, minutes, hours, they moved. But he was unable to catch her breathless words.

He blinked. The thick grey clouds released small, misty drops onto the two men. At first the rain felt hesitant, but then more and more and more droplets bounced against the earth, against the men, and against the soggy bagel. “It’s raining,” he looked over to the hung-over man for reassurance.

“Yeah, my head’s feeling a little better now,” he stopped holding his head, the brown earth dripped from his fingertips. “When is the body coming? I’m sick of waiting.”

“Please, kid.” Old Man scrunched his face. Crows feet grew around his eyes as if time had sped up. “Be a little patient, the girl was too young to die. She didn’t even have a chance to experience life. Everyone should be able to experience it. It was too early for her,” he stared into Hung-over man’s eyes. His hands strangled the soggy bagel, ripped bits of it off into his fingers, and rolled the dough between his fingers before flinging it to the ground.

“I’m sorry.” The words were sincere. Hung-over man stared into the eyes of the old beaten man and he felt, at least momentarily, bad for giving him such a hard time. “We’re always waiting. Fuck, my fingers are cold.”

“That was beautiful. You found yourself closing in on one hell of a beautiful moment.”

“Beautiful?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not? The removing of barriers and admittance to fault in front of others is a moment of true freedom. The unconscious effort to express yourself in the most base and pathetic moment brings light to others. You made a memory, didn’t you? Shouldn’t everyone have that chance to make that unconscious sacrifice?”

“You’ve got to lay off the pot. As far as I’m concerned, people should just belly up when they’re suppose too, or maybe when we tell them too. I don’t need to deal with this bullshit.” He cracked his knuckles with each word. He took a quick breath and became angry. He spoke again. “We shouldn’t even be having this conversation. That guy is crazy; we don’t even know him! Why can’t he just figure it out on his own?”

“It’s the rules. He said we couldn’t do that.” Old Man looked away and craned his neck forward. “We have an expertise in what he wants. We see death all the time, from the young to the old, good and evil, to everything in-between. Why wouldn’t he come to us? We have the best opinion of who deserves to die with no emotional attachments to influence our decision.” His eyes saw the hearse through the mist. “We still have a few days to figure it out.”

Windjammer Bar. 3:37PM. Tuesday.

Tap, tap, tap…SMASH! The bottle fell to the ground and the whiskey spilled all over the bar.

“God damn it, Sharon!” Tony, said trying to hold in his frustration.

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll get the mop right away,” Sharon turned around and rushed back to the kitchen.

Tony turned back to the couple sitting at the bar, “I’m really sorry about that folks, we’ve only got the two of us on duty right and she’s new. I ho—“

“It’s fine,” the man said. Tony paused and stared at the man for a moment. He didn’t make eye contact even for a moment. His gaze shifted over to the woman, her head down and an empty shot glass in her hand. He knew enough to tell that the tall mustachioed man didn’t want to be bothered; he was already flat out drunk. The woman was already halfway drunk.  

“Right, then,” Tony said. The old wood floor creaked as Tony walked away.

Halfway Drunk halfway slurred, “Babe, I don’t quite know about this. It seems wrong.” She bit her lip and scrutinized her reflection in the thin amber pool of whiskey; dull purplish-black circles ringed her eyes and stood out against her pale skin. She’d been up the past few nights dreading the upcoming meeting. “Why do we have to do this?”

“You always say that, the same thing: never again, I’m through, too dangerous.”

“I know that’s what I always say. I’m always right too; we shouldn’t be involved in this. You sound—“

“Like a fucking sensible man, is what I sound like,” Flat-out Drunk slurred. “You have never been right!” His patience began to erode, “We need to think of a God-damned plan…”

He had been wrong though. He knew that those last few ejaculated words didn’t really mean anything. His face contorted with anger, unable to think of a solution. Halfway Drunk’s slender fingers snaked over to Flat-out Drunks before stopping at the site of his gaze: helplessness and confusion.

“We can do this, we can figure this out,” Halfway Drunk now holding onto his hands.

“No,” Flat-out Drunk quickly shot back, “not we. You. I’m done playing this game, you and the others can figure this out,” his hands sliding out from under Halfway Drunk’s and settling back behind his shot glass.

“Honey…you’re drunk. Let’s go home and talk about this before we have to leave.”

“At least I know what I want. What about you? Are you going to continue this game or will you finally see where I’m going with this?” Flat-out Drunk stared at Halfway Drunk before he drummed his fingers against the table.

“You’re serious about this,” Halfway Drunk’s voice cracked.

“I am…that’s my answer to him.”

“That’s probably the most sober thing you’ve said in a long while,” her voice dropped to a mere whisper as she stared into the swirling amber below.  

Unknown Bridge. 8:37PM. Tuesday.

There are six people standing on a bridge. In a hundred-and-seventy-five years they will be gone, the bridge will be gone, the river below the bridge will be gone, and, perhaps most importantly, the crackling of telephone lines will be gone. Right now, there are six people standing on a bridge.  

One of them is smoking a cigarette. One of them is nursing his head from a hangover, and doing an awful job at hiding it. One of them is flat out drunk, and one of them is halfway to being flat out drunk and agitated that she can’t have her amber liquid. One of them is old and wrinkled, and one of them is a six-year-old boy.

They are waiting for Stranger, who is, as in typical fashion, running late.

The one smoking a cigarette sighs; half-way drunk wonders if she can make it the half mile to the liquor store; the flat-out drunk scoffs; the old one waits; the one nursing a hangover seethes with anger; and the boy misses his mother.

Stranger shows up in a dazzling display of light.

“So…when did you decide to show up, Mr. Be-Ready-To-Meet-At-Eight?” Halfway Drunk halfway slurred, eyes squinted against the dimming light. “We’ve been waiting here for forty five minutes. It’s freezing!”

“I was a little caught up. It’s the rain you see, quite a wonderful sight if you think about. Molecularly bonded hydrogen and oxygen to create one of the purest substances.” For the first time, the six people standing on the bridge came to the stark realization that it is raining.

“Hmmm…” Cigarette Man says. Old Man reached out letting the rain pool in his palm.

Stranger faced south down the river and made a small noise of relief, “It’s quite lovely here, wouldn’t you say? Perfect…just perfect.”

The Hung-over one sneered and pointed his finger at Stranger, “Lovely? It’s freezing; it’s raining; it’s dirty, and it’s filled with the residue of all that’s evil in this world! Why are we here? Why did you call us? You already know the answers to everything! You know as well as we do that this mission is impossible!”

Stranger shook his head. “If I really did know everything, we wouldn’t all be here in this situation right now,” his eyes flashed back at the Hung-over one. “You are too bitter for the task I have assigned. I have always warned you as much; did you not think of the reason I had you working at the cemetery?” He flicked his wrist and Hung-over one vanished.

There are five people standing on the bridge with a monster.

“Look,” Flat-out Drunk garbled, “I know we’ve all got important things to do. So, let’s just hurry this up, yeah?” Stranger nodded bluntly.

“Have you reached a decision?”

Cigarette Man fumbled with his cigarette, and shamefully shook his head. “This…this is a lot to ask of us.”

Old Man nodded his head in compliance. “You can’t make us do this to people. You can’t ask this of us. We’ve been here too long—“

“Disappointing, I expected more,” eyes downcast, his voice sorry, “especially from you both.” His eyes shined, he flicked his wrist and Old Man and Cigarette Man crumbled to the ground. The cigarette rolled, extinguished in a puddle, it’s red embers faded to black.

There are two people standing on the bridge with a murderer.

Halfway Drunk half-heartedly asked, “What if we just. I don’t know. Got rid of them?” She seemed at a loss. Stranger, back still facing her, raised an eyebrow.

“A novel idea, but one that has already been suggested. One that is against the rules. We cannot just simply and barbarically eliminate their entire existence. The consequences would be compounded infinitely.”

Halfway Drunk sighed angrily, “I fail to see the point. Getting rid of them is the only logical choice. It’s the only way to keep them down. If we don’t…then we’ll just have to keep meeting here year after year, again and again like we have since the beginning of time.” Tears began to fall down her face; her body shook under the sobs.

“The point,” Stranger hissed savagely, “was to come up with a solution, not restate the dilemma over and over again.”

“Well, aren’t we just lucky?” The Halfway Drunk can barely be heard beneath the rain, tears, and slur. “I just don’t see an answer.”

The silent six year old spoke up for the first time. “I have a solution,” he said, “I think.”

Stranger turned to face the boy, impressed, but not completely surprised by the chain of events that had just unfolded. He pointed at Halfway Drunk who was halfway slumped over. She disappeared into the rain.

There is one child standing on a bridge with a Monster.

“Is that right? Tell me, what’s the solution?” Stranger kneeled behind the child; his right hand cupping the boy’s right shoulder. His wings sparked out behind him in a gust of wind covering them both from the rain, warming them. They were red and purple, sewn together with fire and lightening. They were beautiful and horrifying. The child looked once, not surprised, not amazed, but simply taking in the grandeur of the moment. He turned to face Stranger.

“Well…we take the bad people and put them someplace. One place. One place where only bad people go and can’t get out. We make them loathe their past, we make them pay.” The child wiped his nose, the rain making it run. “We make the bad people feel bad about what they did and tell everyone else what has become of them. The other people will hear and try and avoid going there by being good.”

Stranger nodded in approval, “A fine idea. A fine idea you have come up with!” He rose. Wings still spread; he extended his hand to the boy who softly took it. “I knew you would come up with the plan, Lucifer. I’ve always believed in you. Would you like some ice cream?”

The boy nodded, and in a ball of fire and lightning, he and Stranger were gone.

In a hundred-and-seventy-five years, the bridge will be gone, the river will be gone, and the memories of what happened here will be gone, shared only by an Angel and child. In a hundred-and-seventy-five years, no one will know the significance of this place.

As for now, this is the place where the end begins.

December 9, 2011
Moving Forward

            He stood outside, an outsider looking through the cold, gray, twisted fence. The men’s Long Beach Cross Country team sat waiting for orders among the casual joggers churning their one-hundred and twenty second clockwise quarters trying to speed up time: becoming someone different. As always, there would be round, determined women with crimson flushed faces and quivering knees envisioning bikinis, sandy beaches, drinking Sex On the Beach, tennis with white-toothed males, and dancing under the moonlight. Men of various conditions and girth accompany these women in search of such realities.  

            The young man stared having no idea what he was going to do now that it was all over. His own running days had been demanding, always taking and never giving: a lifestyle of continual sacrifice with rewards few and far between. Being apart of an elite fraternity where the only purpose in life was to run, jump, and throw incredible distances.

            Picking up the fiber of a non-athletic life seemed like a daunting task; however, he was not alone. There were many others across the country currently doing what he was doing right now: recording gains and losses.

            There was nothing to look forward to, but for some reason he had to start here. The sound of voices and footsteps thrust him back into the present. The men’s team was heading toward Blair Field, subtle acknowledgments exchanged silently between both parties, a mutual understanding of their different social standings. He watched them vanish behind the bridge, only their voices betraying their presence.

            Aimlessly, he turned around taking in the fall of Southern California. Leaves would be changing to autumn shades of red, yellow, orange, and browns elsewhere but the hot breath of summer still lingered here. Picking up his Asics Long Beach Track and Field bag, he walked through the gate, counter clockwise on the track towards the starting post. The joggers paid no attention to the young man in street clothes and he did the same. They would always be here: religious joggers with only the faintest appreciation of what happens here.

            It looked the same as it did four months ago, the same as a four hundred meter track will always look to one who knows every step of a quarter mile. The warm smell and worn polyurethane surface brought him back. The smell and sight brought his mind back to those workouts that pushed his body beyond its physical limit. Back to when the track would become a reservoir for time-honored sweat, back to September and October, the months of promises.

            He put his bag down next to the high jump pit, walking to the starting line; his gaze wandering down the track to make sure no one was coming. He stood in lane one. Casual joggers still trying to hurry Father Time glancing curiously as he stared down at his sandals trying to rekindle that feeling. A trace of it came back and he knew that’s all it would be.

            You can remember it, but you can’t experience it like this…”

            He thought back to when the opportunity for athletic scholarships flowed freely and thought with a grin that the shadows would be sufficient.

September 25, 2011
Ten Seconds…

I wrote this for my ENGL 204: Creative Nonfiction class. It hasn’t been graded and is still going through critiques at the moment. The prompt was to write a Color Story with 1. Get in Quick, 2. Show more than tell, and 3. Get an Epiphany moment.

It brings me back…

The slurping of cool water; the fresh earth scent; the taste of having you. Exhilaration, something undiscovered. The moment you hit my nostrils and fill my lungs, breathing in your high lowers me to ground level. It was just a ten second count and you left…my body rejecting you. I felt nothing except a little excitement, and yet I demanded so much more.

Another rare Friday night, secluded within a cloud of warm scented air. The only indication of company is the snap of lighters and scratchy voices spewing ideas from great philosophers-mainly we. Inside, the four of us did everything but nothing. We watched Futurama and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, played with the cats, and exchanged more useless knowledge. Soon Mark led Nolan, Chelsea, and me in search of food, anticipating the insatiable hunger that would come after an hour. Nolan kicked the barred door open and we heavily plopped into the oiled and murky water; turning left down the alley.

The walk was more normal than usual. We talked about our issues at work that day. The complaints, expressions, and camaraderie were real. So real in fact, that our friendship felt reborn in those few minutes. Yet the conversation was mundane, dull to the point of tears. After a few minutes of pointless rambling, we simply stopped and walked, lost in our own thoughts. We didn’t absorb anything; we just existed as the world flew by in bright lights. At our destination it seemed that the world suddenly grew louder and more alive than it seemed earlier. The cracks of pistachios, foosball, pool, and pinball background noise made normal conversation near impossible.

We ordered our food and sat down at a nearby table surrounded by the smell of deep fryers. Chelsea, always apt to carry her camera, started taking pictures while Nolan posed promiscuously and Mark bluntly asked the waitress for “…four glasses of ice water-with ice.” Mark drank his in one gulp and asked for another. We all began to laugh, our throats scratchy from earlier.

About ten minutes later the waitress brought out our food while Nolan rambled, “Everyone likes to believe they have their own little corner in the place of the universe, it can be anything; needlepoint, lawn bowling, Bridge,” he paused taking a handful of Cajun fries. “Some guy out there may pride himself on being the best goddamn weed wacker in the state of Florida. I mean that’s fine and all. I guess it’s whatever it takes to make yourself feel like your worth something in a crowded world where everyone is part of the scenery.”

“That’s a cool story, but don’t filibuster. Can these people not face their own mediocrity?” I threw back.

He quickly finished his last bite and threw a finger at me smiling and suggesting we leave. The way back was more than eventful: sporadic bursts of energy and the tune of Vampire Weekend’s Horchata echoed through flickering streetlights, scantily clad sky, and damp alleys. We slowly meandered our way back to the apartment and up the short but steep four flights of stairs to Mark’s apartment. We were greeted by a warm waft of herbed air. It was a soothing smell; soon I would be able to forget all about the promises I had made and intended to keep for the time being.

This is indeed a rare Friday night. Being surrounded by the friends I enjoy and existing in the immediacy of living and existing. The four of us loud enough to drown out the noise of the real world outside the window. This was what I look forward to, being transparent and existing.

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