Liking things on instagram isn’t a matter of like or dislike. It’s a matter of “should I feed this person’s ego or not?”
I’d wake knowing I was good-looking motherfucker every morning if I was Dorian Gray.
Let the worst 3 days of the semester commence…
Be still my heart and carry on through finals…
You’re so naughty when you get cold. You make my pili muscles erect.
The sky’s all like, “Ok, torrential downpour in 3…2…Have fun with that walk to LA-1!”
Part One of Polari thesis done…Now about that other thesis…
When there’s no news to report on, I’m about as useless as a condom at a frat party.
I can’t get excited about Iron Man 3 because every time I hear “The Mandarin” I just think of little peeled oranges in a can.
Whoever said “romance is dead” obviously didn’t have a Snapchat.